chemisery

not when night falls
not when the rain is keeping me up
not even when the only sound lulling, coaxing me to bed is just the turbulence created by my heart valves snapping shut

it's in the moments right after yet another nondescript meeting
it's in the middle of a dull day during an even duller week
it's when a name from what seems like another universe appears in a chance viewing of a 10 second commercial it's in between sentences it's in the gap between a thought ending and another beginning it's in those frustratingly inevitable vulnerable moments

that's when.