i'm tired of living in my memories

not in heart

only in distance

LA FAMILIA / MEGAPOST

 

Question: How do parents know to love kids the way they do when they don't actually know the children?  You have no idea what your child is going to be like. How they're going to turn out. In fact at the very beginning, you don't know their habits nor their behavior nor anything at all that would constitute their character - which is the very basis on how most people judge other people right? 

I don't get it... 

But I've fallen prey to it. Hard.

What I'm trying to say is: LOOK AT MY NEPHEW AND MY NIECE ARE THEY NOT THE CUTEST MUNCHKINS YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE I JUST LOVE THEM WITH ALL THAT I HAVE AND MORE THAT I DON'T AND AND AND AND HERE LET ME SHOW YOU A HUNDRED MILLION TRILLION PHOTOS OF THEM WHEN THEY WERE HOME VISITING IN NOVEMBER!!111!!! 

 

cousins!

 

 

I present to you,

my prince & princess

 

the fam looking very regal

I shall end this post with some ipod touch photos of my beautiful, amazing sister (who will forever look 15) and my nephew (who has a huge chunk of my heart and probably doesn't know it.) 

 

i miss you!

but the butter

Mondays off make for such magnificent Sunday nights.
(well candy apple lips, tekweela and fantastic company add splendidly to the equation too.)

my best  ❥ ☼

diabolical d.

Sometimes I find myself harboring more hatred than I care to admit. Hating something, someone so vehemently doesn't just go away. It doesn't just stop, just stop - like I've been told to do time and time again. I would, you know, if I could. It's tiring. It physically hurts to have your skin crawl from detestation, to have your heart pound relentlessly fron repugnance, to have the hair on the back of your neck stand on end from disgust.

But you're so lovely to everyone else. 

Well, thanks. For that halfway backhanded compliment. It's been 20 years people, it's not going to change. 

Maybe we can all wish my antipathy away. 

enamored

slow down. hurry up, slowpoke. but look at that dress that shirt oh my goodness those shoes. you're behaving like such a tourist. well you're carrying a murse, anything you say is invalid. do i really need to remind you that 90% of what is in here is yours? shut up. hurry up and hold my hand you embarrassing hick.

fine.

completely incomplete

It's 5:36AM, my niece is bawling in the next room after coming home to a foreign room in what seems like a strange and overly humid country and I'm about to fall asleep with that smile on my face that only shows itself once a year when my family is finally, finally complete.

awakening

denise ho - 癡情司 

to do androgyny like denise ho is to do it right. 15 years in the industry and she just keeps getting better. i don’t think i will ever tire of her voice - thick with emotion, with stories untold, with hearts quietly broken and even more quietly mended, like a swig of nikka in the dead of winter. it's always a pleasure to listen to her. always.

love note to tumblr

You know what I love? Tumblr.

Is this ethical? To wax lyrical about how much I love another (newer, younger) blogging platform on my rickety 8 year old home base? But Tumblr's just like the awesome new girl on the block. She waltzes in with her effortlessly pretty hair. She doesn't ask for commitment but she gives you just what you need. She doesn't need any sweet talking or any talking at all, really. (A visual character, this one.) She accommodates and appreciates your short attention span - as a matter of a fact, she's constantly trying to come up with fresh moves to keep you interested. She's kind of the perfect girlfriend, isn't she?

Oh Tumblr. I just love how easy it is to find high quality edits and gifs at my fingertips for my flavor of the month (or in my case, year). You make me so happy ^^

hbd, kkb

happy 20th, kibum ♡

welcome to the 20s, little one. you embody all that is wonderful in my universe, in any universe. 

i don't want to pepper this with embellishments or too much frou frou, but just know that i adore you. you inspire me. and i am incredibly grateful for this day 20 years ago when you decided to grace us plebeians with your arrival. 

happy birthday kibum. may the year ahead bring you everything you want and much, much more. i wish i could give you the world.

fan-account - SHINee THE 1ST CONCERT IN SINGAPORE 2011

this past saturday, i managed to watch 5 of my favorite underage korean boys perform and it was nothing short of magical. here lies my experience in 3000 words as copied from tumblr aka my cesspit of korean pop idolatry.

barely edited and quite raw (and therefore immensely fangirly and potentially embarrassing but i feel a-okay about that. i love these boys and i cannot lie)

it was incredible. decidedly underwhelming, but incredible nevertheless. jill and i concluded that it was because we've seen so many fancams of all the other swc's that even though we were thrilled (beyond imaginable belief), nothing surprised us. which really is our fault so damn us for being such avid fancam stalkers. but it was just such an incredible (there that word is again) feeling to see the boys in real life. the boys i spend far too much time dissecting and analyzing and poring over. in real life. in front of my eyes. singing and dancing the same songs i've heard far too many times and seen performed far too many times in various fancams from countries spanning far and wide.

i actually came away with a large sense of sadness for the boys. because they looked exhausted. particularly onew and taemin - there was a good part of the concert when they were kind of... not all there? onew sang at least 3 songs with his eyes closed about 80% of the time. and it wasn't "oh i'm really getting into the song" but more "i would rather be anywhere but here."

it made me sad :"( you could hear it in his weakened voice that he was so tired. and tae performed amazingly but for the first time ever, i saw him half-ass some of his dance moves. anyone that knows SHINee knows that tae doesn't do that - but he did (albeit just for a couple of songs! but he did.) there were times when it really felt like they were just going with the motion and they weren't feeling it at all. they seemed to get better halfway through, say after a-yo, which was only a tiny bit reassuring.

i went on and on about that OKAY ON TO THE BETTER STUFF AKA MY CHANCE TO WRITE A THESIS ON KIBUM!!

this be kibum.

SHINee are beautiful. every bit as beautiful, nay, they are even more beautiful in real life. in particular, key is an angel. he is a flawless porcelain doll. his skin is perfectly milky white and it really felt like he was putting in extra effort cos he knew that the others were so tired. he is flat out amazing. spot on dance moves and fanservice from here to seoul. he was just. so. SMILEY. and WAVEY. and can we just talk about his english for a bit here. we've all heard him speak it. but it is like a zillion times more melodious in real life. it is PERFECT. like you could dump him on the streets of new york and boy would be fine.  we got lucky cos key came over to our side of the stage a whole bunch of times so i could see him in all his glory so many times. and it never ceased to impress me. (IS MY BIAS SHOWING YET) (note: pre-concert, my bias was a very greedy ontaekey. this concert has shown me where my heart lies.)

this is going to turn into a dissertation about key. but he is poetry in motion. the way he walks, talks, moves, laughs. it's like a chorus of angels decided to put on their best show for the world to see. there's something in the way he carries himself that is so damn freaking charismatic. it's undoubtedly effeminate, but so uniquely kibum. it just makes my toes curl in delight thinking about him.

he is the perfect mix of cottony soft and steely goodness. watching him laugh (you know how he throws his head back and then his whole body into his laughs) and kick it with the rest of the boys in real life was one of the biggest highlights of the night because watching them be them was... priceless. in all honesty though, i would  pay good money to watch key fold origami. do anything. glare at the top of my head. wipe down a table. i don't even care.

that is how beautiful this boy is. he glows. like seriously if all the stadium lights out went out, key and key alone could light up the entire arena. he's so fair he could easily be one of the models in those korean skincare ads and he'd be prettier than most of the models out there anyway. i've always believed this, but seeing him in real life just solidified what i thought - that he is stunning. guys, really. he is beautiful. his face is perfect. his body is perfect. so perfect it's surreal.

when he's on stage though, he's almighty key. i'm sure you know that key. he's powerful and energetic and sexy as all hell. and in real life he is even more vivacious. it may be my bias talking, but i found it so hard to tear my eyes away from him.
he is a consummate performer. breathtaking in every sense.
phew.

| notes from some of the performances:

the shinee world: GEEZ LOUISE WHEN THEY POPPED UP I WAS LIKE $%^&*(^%  IS THIS REAL LIFE. AND TAEBEAR YOUR SHIRT IS OPENED SO LOW I COULD DIVE IN AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR BELLY BUTTON.


lushipeo: laser show ftw, yo. when they're up in the air it's like "look ma! angels! with green lasers and perfectly coiffed hair!"


obsession: this song is not played enough. it is so good live.


ready or not: was really looking forward to the jongkey in this one that was in all the other shacons. but alas, it was not to be. jjong knelt down in the middle of the stage and key was doing his own thing. drats. i was so ready.


a-yo: one of the most fun songs. they were running all over the place in their little outfits and we were all drawing circles and a-yo-ing with them. joy.


quasimodo: my favorite SHINee ballad. i just wanted to say that the boys looked flawless in their white suits and sounded beautiful.


graze: one of my favorite SHINee songs. the cheapo ikea chair dance was cute irl and it was cute cos onew stumbled a teeny bit during the dance and the boys were like chortling.


indiv performances: all lovely. though i did spend 95% of jjong's solo trying to figure out the language of the song he was singing, puppy did great. he was wailing and going falsetto like there was no tomorrow, but that's our jjongpup! and he did awesome. minho tries so hard and i love him for that. honestly, with that choreography for OMG, he did pretty damn good. also, he has 8 packs. 8. tae was immaculate during r+j. i love tae's voice. taekay during my first kiss was not as flirty as the rest of the shacons, but adorable nonetheless. onew's opera was very loud, but perfect as is the rest of him. i did spend a lot of the concert wanting to mother him and tuck him into bed though.


lullaby: i must admit i LOLed at the end when they all huddled together and hugged onew and the little boy. it was a bit cult-like.


random videos interludes: they were all... awful. and hilarious. even though kibum doing the ugly cry and onew crumbling with his flowers at the telephone booth still made my heart hurt a little.


ending + happy key day!!: highlight of the entire concert! i just love watching the boys being... the boys. even though having the water fight is staged, i just like watching them run around and acting their age. i love how goofy they get. i love when they put on random hats that (awesome) fans brought. (and how is it they look so flawless with wet hair and cartoon hats?) (and goggles and my melody hats? oh jjong.) (and too tight hats that can't be pried off your head? oh jinki.)
it was hilarious that the fans sang the birthday song in korean and the boys were singing in english. but adorable. jjong sang so loudly.

there was so much random smattering of english. it was ADORABLE. key and his perfect english. he acutally introduced himself with "WASSUP SINGAPORE THIS IS KEY!! long time no see! we've missed you!" i just about nearly had an aneurysm at his perfection at that moment.

they all went "thank you so much" multiple times. of course jjong and his "happy birthday key i love you!" and minho's "happy birthday TO YOUUU!". ugh is this what thrills me these days? rudimentary english? but it was WONDERFUL.

and omg key's dance time. SO PRICELESS. the way he naturally strutted himself to the center and let loose and shook his booty. COULD YOU BE ANY CUTER? COULD YOU?!?!?  and when he wore his pink hat and smiled i really felt my entire body melting. like honestly i felt my heart at my feet he was so gorgeous.
i would pay the full ticket price all over again just to watch the ending over and over and over again. these cute life-ruiners.

| boys:

onew: i love him so much. i feel like he looked weathered? which made me think of SM's milk club and made me worry as i tend to do for SHINee. his voice was solid as usual, his eye smiles melt-worthy as usual, his sangtae lovable as always. i just wish he would be given a chance to rest. even for a week. he seems just like the sort that would carry the world on his shoulders and i felt like i saw a glimpse of it on saturday night. he still performed awesomely, but that's just what we felt. but when he smiles, when he sings... there's no defence against that. absolutely none. no one is safe from his charm okay.


jjong: jjong is a puppy. there is no other way to describe how adorable and bouncy he is. i guarantee that everyone, whether or not a shawol and/or pet lover, will want to gather jjong in your arms and just... pet him. also, he is TINY. it is so freaking cute. he is a good bit shorter than all the rest of the boys and it is just so freaking adorable. like during the lullaby they all had to wear some white satin poncho thing and his came down to his shins and tae's were like right where his knees were. hee hee.


key: need i say more about my fairy? about my wonderful angel who kissed every single plastic ball he threw to the fans? who headbanged so hard i feared bits of his brain would leak out from his ears? who waved and said "thank you" so much you'd think he was a presidential hopeful?


minho: so incredibly handsome. body like a greek god. and that's all i have *embarrassed*

taemin: TAE IS INCREDIBLY SKINNY. i know, what's new right? but his legs are the size of my arms i am not kidding you. BABY BOY! EAT!! AND RETAIN THE WEIGHT!! chub!tae is cute!tae. chopsticklegs!tae is tooskinny!tae. need i say more about taemin's dancing skills? boy's got mad skillz. such a pleasure to watch him dance irl with his signature lip-bite. he is also insanely cute especially when he's playing and running around like a 5 year old. i feel like that's the tae we all fell in love with. mint leaf on his head and all.

otp alert?: ok my otps are jongkey, onkey and minkey. and i saw jongkey onkey and minkey. i am a happy stan. also taekey. tae holding key whilst the rest of the boys sprayed him with confetti string. tae spraying copious amounts of water at key. minho helping key remove said confetti string. onew chasing key with a water bottle. jjong's "i love you". WHY ARE THEY SO EFFING ADORABLE.

and my favorite jongkey moment - when key saw jjong in his ridic getup of his my melody hat + swimming goggles and he BURST OUT laughing in his signature key laugh. made my night.

the dynamics of SHINee enthral me and i'm glad i got to witness it first hand. above all the otp shenanigans, they just look like really good friends that seem to genuinely like each other. and that makes me happy.

this 500000 word fanaccount is finally coming to a close. i love that beneath all their immense professionalism, they are the same crazy peppy boys that we fell in love with and continue to fall in love with. i adore that they still kinda suck at live interviews, and especially that key looked so bored during the local media interviews but came alive during the concert. for some reason that just made me love him more.

the boys, as they are well trained to do, thanked us profusely at the end of the concert. but thank you SHINee. you've made my world a much more dazzling place to live in.

ptb = practically the bomb

| PROTECT THE BOSS |

This drama series has got me completely hooked in a way that I haven't been in far too long. Impossibly witty dialogue, perfectly developed characters and fabulous fashion sense for miles. It's just passed it's halfway mark, but it's certainly leading the pack for the best drama series of 2011.




boy got skillz

Of course, Jae and his lips technique impeccably! fitted! suits! helps the cause... A lot.

be mine?

andrew english | his and hers fingerprint wedding bands
fingerprint detail hand-engraved on the inside

"I'm yours"

"Will you be mine?"

"I belong to you"

I have a friend that is vehemently against the idea of "belonging" to someone else or "ownership" of another person, if you will. She thinks it's demeaning and ridiculous that to love someone you have to 'own' them, or be willing to relinquish control of yourself to someone else. While I see where she's coming from, I cannot say I agree. For one, I'm kind of into that sorta thing. Also, isn't that a part of the (wonderfully terrifically romantic, imo) idea behind wedding rings?

As much as I know we shouldn't need a piece of jewelry to validate our relationships, there's just something very powerful about wedding bands. It speaks volumes about commitment and the willingness to announce to the world that you're taken and I don't know, it's just something I've always found terribly romantic. In an ideal world, it should be seen as an affirmative bond, a statement, a constant reminder of a promise. Not a shackle that traps you or a dirty secret you have to hide. Maybe it's social conditioning and/or my idyllist ways but I know I want to find someone who will want to put a ring on it (ha) and openly wear his commitment on his sleeves. Or his ring finger.

I think I may be a sappy, backward, traditionalist that over-romanticizes - And I'm okay with that.

in the daytime, time for celebration

I know, I know. Who still posts LQ pictures anymore?

Well, blackberry users, that's who. Don't let the hard flash distract you from the copious amount of lightsticks and our general sense of joy at spending time with each other. Yes I'm a ball of mush. That's why my friends love me.

ain't no jewellery like neon jewellery!

BFF ♥

These photos are a pretty accurate representation of a daytime party we attended a couple of weekends ago. We had brunch (At 3PM, so really it was more like tea), champagne, and before we knew it the lights were dimmed and lightsticks (+ too many cheesy dance moves to count) were broken out and the party went on and on till the break of... Dusk.

Being that I'm a 70 year old in the body of a young adult, I really wish all parties were held in the day. Until this trend catches on though, I'm going to stick with texting my friends "good night and have fun girls!" as I happily tuck myself into bed at 10:30PM.

VLOG #1: 082011

vlog #1/ august 2011

we were meant to be

I'm not a particularly lucky person in the sense that I generally don't do well with lucky dips, pick & wins, bingo jackpots lotteries and the like. And if I misplace something, it's normally gone for good.

But this past Saturday night, lady luck took a sudden and plenty appreciated liking to me. It's story time.

I parallel parked (like a boss, might I add) along Tras St because we were doing dinner at Blue Ginger. Fast forward 2.5 hours, we left with happily stuffed stomachs and a one track mind - to head to our next destination at CQ. Sam very kindly offered to take the wheel because I'm a night blind, direction sense deficient putz so I rode shotgun, ready to assume the role of DJ. Lo and behold, after I stopped short of turning my entire purse inside out, le 3 month old ipod touch was no where to be found.

(╯︵╰,)

Rewind 2.5 hours. Now I remember being on the phone from my car to the restaurant, and noticing 5 minutes too late that my bag was hanging wide open with only one strap being on my shoulders and the other swaying loose. Damn. So I must have dropped it en route to the restaurant. Double Damn. At this point we were almost at CQ and Sam, ever helpful, was like "you wanna go back and check?"

Logically, how could my ipod still be there? I mean, it's been 3 hours. Someone must have taken it. Right?

Right?

....

(I'm failing at creating suspense, aren't I)

....

!!! WRONG !!!

We drove back and there it was, sitting pretty in my now vacated parking space, waiting for us to retrieve it. IT WAS WAITING FOR US!!!!!! It had just fallen under my car as I left it and was there throughout dinner - no one had since picked it up, no car had parked there in the 20 minutes we were gone and MY IPOD WAS RIGHT THERE WAITING FOR US!!! *hyperventilates*

Char jumped out of the car only to be glared at by a passing "mitsu-bitchy" (look at Char still being clever even when under mild duress), but that did not deter her from her mission to save my ipod. And save it she did, save it she did ♥

Basically, I'm thankful for my friends and my shining lucky stars. I mean, really. Had I been the one driving, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have driven back (night blind putz haven't you heard). Thank you for aligning, lucky stars! For reuniting ipod and Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I'll reel in the hysterics just a touch.

What a long entry just to describe my jubilance. This is a good summary:

OMG GUYS CAN YOU BELIEVE I FOUND MY IPOD LIKE IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE IN THE PARKING LOT IN IT'S NEON PINK GLORY WAITING FOR ME WE ARE MEANT TO BE JUST MEANT TO BE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER...

SAVIORS! (∩▂∩)