(thanks for the tipoff sammy)
something for my wishlist yay :) Y
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one order of highly angst-driven chidish rantings coming right up
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so it's the end of another week.
i've labelled this week (as of 13feb to 20feb) the Shittest Week Ever.
because,
well,
i'm a total brat.
hate the fact that my mom isn't here anymore (she left on the 13th), and then i end up feeling even crappier because well obviously she has to leave some time and it's time to grow. up. seriously now.
so i've been having having driving lessons the whole week. and it's not really driving i have something against, i mean hooray for the adrenaline rushes. but my instructor can really be quite the mofo. he flings sarcastic comments in my direction but i guess he thinks it's funny. maybe it is, but not to me.
and although i think so too,
he says i'm going to fail my test.
-_- -_- -_-
but to be fair, he didn't say it so bluntly. it was more like a uh, well um, you know, plenty of people don't make it on the first try
how marvously encouraging.
ironically, this driving school is supposed to specialise in the nervous and the elderly. well it certainly isn't very pleasant to throw acidic comments at a nervous person.
these days i have to drive with my mom's friends because you have to drive with a certified driver >21.
so anyway,
my aunt is really great. she's been friends with my mom for over 30 years and it's a pretty fab friendship.
but she works everyday except tuesday and wednesday so her husband has to take me out driving instead.
i never realised this before
but he reminds me so much of my dad
which truly is the worst thing, ever.
in short, it's very obvious he thinks that because i've just started driving, i might just kill him.
there are so many disrespectful things i could yell at him.
when he looks at me like i can't drive at all. like i shouldn't even be sitting in the driver's seat. like i'm only good enough to drive in residential areas at 25mph. and even then, he acts like i'm a crazed drunk driver on a freeway.
does he know i know?
that he lives off his wife?
and has been for the past 25 years?
does he know he's living in the past?
and that his constant waxing philosophical aggravates everyone around him?
because i don't care if he thinks i'm too 'anxious' (WHEN I REVERSE MY CAR.WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN) or that everything 'moves too fast.' i really don't give a fuck about his zen beliefs. i hate that he slams christianity without once giving a thought to someone else who's sitting right there that believes in God.
and more than anything
i hate it when i get like that because i know it's the worst thing to be thinking these thoughts of someone that you're supposed to respect.
so i feel guilty.
unfortunately,
not nearly guilty enough to stop having these thoughts.
and to add a terrible physical aspect to the SWE,
i've been eating enough to feed a small army and i've been having an attack of the deadly pimples.
this is the part of being a teen i detest.
oh right,
and i'm taking my driving test today.
-_-
sigh, what a long, dreary, angry entry.
a cheerier one about spring break and april 1st coming soon
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