Tuesday, September 15, 2009

You know, its true. Dependency and expectations are the work of the devil. Have I not know this for years?! How do I manage to lose this simple easy as 3.14 concept.... Pretty much every day? Its repulsive, really. Repulsive.

I thought i had realized.. especially since this tweet of yore - but sometimes grasping this is like understanding molecular physics (or on a smaller scale in my case.. like swallowing pills) - yes, it is the way of the world. a fact of life. may seem tough but you just gotta get past it. Everybody does.

But god dangit why is it so bloody hard to digest?

So i will never be 1st 2nd 3rd 4th............................... Bah I've never been any good at winning anyway. I've always settled quite nicely in 'Mediocre' tyvm. So why is it so hard to settle for 22nd place this time around? I mean 22 is a perfectly fine little number is it not? If it were the size of my waist I'd be ecstatic. If it were the number of billions$ I had in my Swiss bank account I would be happily vacationing on my diamond encrusted yacht in the South of France . Look I'm 22 years old and it's even a semi-glorious time! So why is it so hard to just settle for 22nd place? I shouldn't be so hard on 22!

Maybe.. Because they don't give shiny medals and prizes to 22nd place losers winners. Maybe because 22nd is a good 20 places too far behind - Maybe I should just come to terms with this pronto. So yes, I'm selfish. Yes, I want to be a winner, this once. But alas, yes - I'm coming in a triumphant 22nd place. Celebratory ribena shooters, anyone?