i will save myself

Most people don't understand.

They can't fathom the magnitude the immensity and the reasons behind the revulsion but they don't know what I know and as it is I'm sure I don't know the worst of it. For as long as I can remember I've been this way. Felt this way. This is what I've always believed and as I've gotten older it's only gotten worse. As the tint of childhood faded away, it only revealed so much more with such unbelievably frightening clarity.

The resentment the exasperation the pure unadulterated hatred has been mounting for well over 2 decades and it hasn't slowed down one bit. It's not just my friends who respond to my words in disbelief because frankly even I sometimes can't believe I'm capable of feeling such intense profound disgust and my how it only multiplies each day.

But I hope this only serves to propel me. I hope and pray that through all this negativity that I can't help but breed, I will find my own peace. Armed with the knowledge and the thorough understanding and acceptance that I don't need it I simply don't need any of it..... I will be better. I will find peace. And I will make it on my own.

Patience is strength.

像輪胎用了太久　沒氣了　所以
原諒我　想消失幾週
每個人都在選好的軌道奔走
講真的　我想要呼救