It's so unbecoming, so immature, but yet I find myself resorting to this petulance more than I care to admit. Have I always been this way? Probably. Should I be? Definitely not.
This really only occurred to me yesterday as I was driving home from work in peak hour traffic with some of my fellow impatient Singaporeans. I turned out to the main road from my office building, and narrowly missed hitting a bicyclist that sped by. You'd think my first thought would be "HOLY SHIZ THANK GOODNESS I DIDN'T HIT HIM", right? But that only came after my immediate reaction which was more along the lines of:
"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS A BICYCLIST DOING ON A BUSY INTERSECTION DURING PEAK HOUR. DOES HE HAVE A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING WHY IS HE TEMPTING FATE AND BEING AN ANNOYING BICYCLIST ON OUR ROADS?!?!?!?!? THIS IS SINGAPORE NOT A ROMANTIC STREET IN PARIS AND WHY IS HE STARING AT ME AS HE PASSES ME BY HELLO I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE DIRTY LOOK OKAY GET OFF YOUR FREAKIN BIKE AND ON THE BUS OR SOMETHING!!!!! "
Yup, it went something like that.
But my indignation! How appallingly righteous I was being and by how naturally it came to me. Fortunately, 7PM traffic (jams) gave me plenty of time to expound internally about the multitude of situations in which I've reacted equally indignantly. Unfortunately, I came to the realization that it's actually become my default reaction for too many things in my life. Perhaps it's typical of the people in my generation. It's just easier to blame things that don't go your way on every other element except yourself. When life gives you lemons, why CURSE AND SWEAR AND KICK AND SCREAM of course.
That can't be right.
I'm not sure how I intend to use my 'revelation' to better myself, but I hope being aware of my attitude issue will benefit me somehow. At the very least, I have to remember that when life gives me lemons, I just have to
add vodka bake lemon cheesecake.